Not Even For Me?
by FMAsonlyAlice
Summary: "Do you do this to Alphonse when you are falling asleep?" Do… Huh? Edward's hand ceased its motion. "What?" "Do you draw his array on him as you fall asleep?" Oh. Ed balled his hand into a fist and held it against Roy's back, suddenly self-conscious. So you know Al and I sleep together at home…


As they lay together, holding each other close, exhausted and on the wind-down from a long night of chemically enhanced sexual performance, their breathing still slightly strained, Edward closed his eyes and traced his fingers in circles on Roy's back.

One particular array, really…

…Al's array.

Consisting of simple lines, eight of them, to be exact, and a swirl, much like a small flame, the array was simple.

Edward thought nothing of the skin he was currently using as a sketch pad, nor did he think of what he was sketching. In his head a version of himself smiled a Cheshire smile, gloating to the audiences generated by his own mind. He had done it! He had made it to this man's bed. At the man's own suggestion and insistence, too!

And he was pleased with himself. His fingers continued to scrawl the same circle upon Roy's back, over and over again, then wipe the skin to start again.

He was nearing that fuzzy place where one trips over their own eyelids and tumbles into the chaotic and unpredictable realm of dreams when Roy's gentle, baritone voice tossed him back to the shores of sobriety.

"Do you do this to Alphonse when you are falling asleep?"

_Do… Huh?_

Edward's hand ceased its motion.

"What?"

"Do you draw his array on him as you fall asleep?"

_Oh._

Ed balled his hand into a fist and held it against Roy's back, suddenly self-conscious.

_So you know Al and I sleep together at home…_

"You recognize it?" was all he asked. There was no way he wanted to go down that road. There was no way he was explaining that.

"Well, I've only seen it a couple of times. But I could never forget it. And you sometimes dotted your 'I's with small swirls in some phrases and words in your reports. Swirls like the one in the center of Alphonse's array."

The oldest Elric hummed, trying to think back to his reports. He could not, for the life of him, recall actually doing that.

"So, you don't notice you are doing it." Roy hummed and pressed his cheek to the top of Ed's head.

The blond thought about this and tried to remember drawing it anywhere other than his brother's armor that day nine years ago. He could recall going over his notes and seeing it dotted randomly throughout the pages, but he never thought anything of it. And now, he still couldn't remember actually putting them there.

He pressed his brows together.

"I guess it's something I do subconsciously."

The general hummed again and there was a silence for about a minute. Ed was about to fall into his dreams again.

"If I were to nearly die, and you felt it important to you to save my soul and bind it to something, like what you did to save Alphonse, would that array work for me?"

"No."

It was quiet again. Ed could feel the pause his immediate answer gave Mustang. He hadn't heisted at all to answer the question, and now he knew that the older must be curious and waiting for a response. He decided to save the bastard his breath and explain before Roy could ask.

"It's a simple array, a very childish array, but it is unique to Al and his life force alone. It would react to no other person. It wouldn't even backfire, it would just do nothing."

Ed shifted to look at Roy's face.

"I would like to say that I came up with it, and that is how it felt for a long time. But I guess I knew somehow the array presented itself to me and I used it without thinking. If I were ever to feel the need to keep you alive at all costs, I would be given an array unique to you, and until then, I will never know what it looks like."

Roy searched his face, for whatever. Ed was too tired to care, but it did look as though the man seemed a little worried, and for that, Ed decided he could care at least a little.

"Would you ever do that for me?" Roy asked, somewhat cautiously, clearly afraid of what the answer might be.

Surely, he must know the answer already. He wasn't stupid.

"Let me put it this way. I hope I never have to."

If he could get some sleep before the sun came up that would be great.

"But would you?"

Edward thought back to his attempt at bringing his mother back to life, the pain of it failing, the price his failure cost him and his brother, and what it cost to defy science in the name of love and somewhat successfully bring his brother back and the pain it caused. It almost cost him his life as well.

He decided a long time ago that having a less alive version of what you had before was not worth the price he and his brother had to pay.

Roy continued to stare at Ed expectantly, waiting patiently for an answer.

Edward sighed. He was so tired.

"No."

If there was any pain that Roy could have been feeling, it did not show on his face. His face had immediately returned to a mask of indifference at the rejection.

"Hmmm…" was all he said, and he pulled Edward tighter to him and Ed found no trouble falling asleep immediately.

Roy, however, did not sleep until the sun was peeking through the blinds and making lines of light on the bedspread.

He knew Edward could never commit that particular strain of human transmutation again, for anyone, but it still hurt that he knew the younger wouldn't even do it for him.

Not that he could love Edward after only one night…

…could he?


End file.
